Let's re-imagine space
Introduction
When you go your whole life being told you do
not belong to a specific community, never truly 'fitting' anywhere, its always
shocking when you realise there are more communities you are a 'part' of, yet
still struggle to navigate them.
I was recently (educationally) diagnosed
with ADHD (not a medical diagnosis), which
really explains a lot of reasons I am the way I am, and it was very reaffirming to
my sense of self.
But what comes with that is a continued self-reflection into
my own identity, and who that makes me, where I fit, and where I perhaps do
not.
When you are mixed race in Britain, the monoracial culture
attempts to get you to choose one side or the other, for me, either be a
Chinese woman or a white woman, but never both.
When you are in 'neurotypical Britain', our brains are
expected to function in a way that suits the way society has been built, not
how we think and experience.
So it becomes interesting to think about how
space is considered and experienced when you do not fully belong to it. My mixed
identity does not belong to a monoracial Britain, and my ADHD does not belong
to a neurotypical space. It reveals a lot about how space and identity can, and
should, be re-imagined.
I will split this small piece into four discussions: the spaces we occupy now, racial intersections, gender intersections, and finally mixed race intersections.
Spaces we are in now
In Britain, we occupy a country with a hostile
colonial, white supremacist, and violent past, and continues to enact itself today.
Our perceptions of race within that space are confined
to our historical assumptions around identity.
It is contested in history when the social
conception of ‘race’ was truly developed, but typically ‘non-white’ bodies were
seen as ‘savages’, who were ‘uncivilised’ and the ‘others’. In other words, not
seen as part of the same human race as white ‘civilised’ bodies. Even when
considered ‘human’, the British saw them as lesser-than.
‘Race’ used to refer to a number of things,
not just what we consider ‘biological physical traits’ (which its not), but was
even categorised by hair type, head
shape, and height.
When race was first classified as something
similar to what we know today, Swedish naturalist Carl Linnaeus classified
four distinct races: Europeans, Africans, American Indians, and Asians. He
placed Europeans at the top of this hierarchy, and Africans at the bottom,
thus, facilitating what would grow into our conceptions of ‘race’.
So, when you are mixed race in these spaces
that historically rest on categorisation, space becomes something else,
something you navigate, and usually negotiate.
When we look at educational structures built
on these histories, they were also formed with a neurotypical understanding of
educating.
Those with neurodiverse identities are forced
to conform to a neurotypical centre of learning, which only suits a specific
way of thinking, without facilitating those who do not fit that mould, that
space. For example, being sat at a desk all day doesn’t suit all learning needs,
but it’s what we see as normal.
Space is historical and ever transforming, but we need to reflect on how identities are shaped and understood when in spaces that contain such a complex past, that still influences how individuals enact themselves within it.
Race and neurodivergency
I am very new to this subject area but heard a
story from one of my mentors that changed my whole perception on ADHD and race.
She was diagnosed with her neurodiversity much
later in life, and identifies and a Black mixed race woman. She told me how she
was glad this diagnosis happened later in life, as she feared being a Black
girl being diagnosed would detriment peoples perception of her educational
abilities, as her racial identity historically has been associated with these
racist and hostile assumptions.
We always think that the earlier the diagnosis
the better - but the reality is more complicated than that.
I asked the woman who gave me my diagnosis
what the experience of Asian families is like when going through this process,
as it requires information from your childhood, that usually the parents or
carers give the information for.
She told me that, particularly with Indian
students and their families , they can be hesitant to get the diagnosis,
believe it is real, or even put it on their work forms claiming a disability.
She told me the students were worried it would stop them from getting a job, as
her culture had ingrained in her mind that that was the case.
In Asian communities, it is stigmatised to
have any form of neurodivergency. In my experience as a Chinese woman,
it is seen as making you 'dumb', or anything that makes it more difficult for
you to learn in a traditional sense, means you are the problem. Or, they would
ignore the issue as they do not want to associate you with any labels that
might detriment you in life. There is a cultural divide that is often
overlooked.
We need to not only look at ADHD as neurodiversity, but also as an intersectional experience. Us as people have multiple identities that shape who we are and how we see the world, but also how the world sees us. Without this understanding, we miss out on the complex and diverse experiences that come with these identities and how to best support them.
Gender and neurodivergency
Typically,
diagnosis' such as ADHD are heavily gendered, associated with
'misbehaving boys' who endlessly move, disrupt, and lack concentration in an
education system not built for them. We have this very physical view of ADHD,
when there is more to it than just 'fidgeting'.
As young
girls in UK education, we are taught we are not suited to 'misbehave' and
'move'. I remember I wasn't even allowed to play football as that was the
'boys' sport. Emphasis on statements such as 'boys will be boys' or 'he just
needs to let it out' continue to associate ADHD with these harmful and
stereotypical norms of 'male' actions.
I did not
fidget as a child, I sat still and quiet, it wasn't easy to do, but I knew
that's how young girls were 'suppose' to act in the classroom. This meant no
one could really see what was happening inside my brain.
There is a lack of research around how ADHD
affects those who do not identify as 'boys' or 'men', but symptoms can also
look like:
- Not feeling like you're acting like 'yourself' around certain people (masking)
- Hyperfocus on subjects you are passionate about
- Easily mentally distracted, having multiple tasks on at once
- Getting extreme jolts of joy when learning something new, but sometimes not following it through to the end
- Running at a million miles an hour, in your head, not always physically.
Women typically become very good as masking, as we have been socialised to enact ourselves in a particular way to navigate certain spaces. ADHD can also be more associated with personality traits rather than something that requires diagnosis - essentially, people are not looking for it in us.
Mixed race and neurodivergency
Self-identification for mixed race individuals
is essential as the binary, monoracial codes society is used to using does not
reflect who we are. Both are enacting themselves in a white
supremacist, neurotypical space, that refuses to transform itself into a
space where these identities can flourish.
Scholars such as Bettez (2010), Ginsberg (2017), Mahtani (2001) and Wilson (2020) encourage the importance of
self-description and self-identification, and discuss how they themselves or
others have been identified by others in the past, and the ways it affected
their mental health, and sense of self.
I talk a lot about how mixed race bodies can
be 'commodified ' or seen as 'exotic goods' rather than as people, much like
how ADHD can be seen as a 'trend' or something 'quirky' rather than a medical
or educational diagnosis.
The intersect between being racially ambiguous
in predominantly white spaces and the ability to mask neurodivergency gets
confusing.
It is not as simple as being mixed, and not as
simple as just having ADHD, but how others decide to reflect and perceive those
elements too. It requires heightened self-reflection, and a stress on
self-identification.
There are a lot of cross-overs I reflect on, and I encourage anyone who wishes to dive deeper into this area of research or reflection, to get in contact and carry this discussion further.
Conclusion
I have come to realise I have been, and
continue to be, the 'odd' one out everywhere I go, no matter the spaces I
occupy. And I like that.
What has helped me is knowing racial identity
is not a binary, its not a matter of you're either white or Chinese, not a
matter if you're racialised or not, it's more complicated than that; that
really helped me engage with my new-found neurodivergency and how I embraced
it.
I spent a long time thinking about how my
identity is my own, and that I define it how I want. In my previous blog's such
as "You're not really Chinese then, are you":
Mixed-Heritage experiences in higher education and "Do you eat bat soup?": what does it really mean? I
talk about how I have come to strongly self-identity, to never allow anyone to
identify for me.
I feel like my neurodivergency is
similar.
I do not want others identifying me, only
I do that.
Any neurodivergency is not a good thing, it is
not a bad thing, it is just a thing. It is just a way of seeing the
world, and experiencing life, and I love the way it allows me to experience
life. Race, is a social construct that continues to perpetuate this idea that
you experience one culture, one community, one way of life.
When you've gone your whole life not belonging
to a specific community, and being told where you should 'fit', the
power of self-identification comes to the rescue.
Intersectional lens encourages us to re-imagine
what space can and should look like. Why do we need facilitate only neurotypical
learning? Why must I fit my identity into Chinese or white? There is no answer
because they are invalid questions.
Re-imagine your spaces, and facilitate true
potential.
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